Lullaby
by how does she do it
Summary: Dreams show our deepest fears, and Abby is no exception. And Connor uses his own sweet, unique way to help her.


My first shot at Primeval fiction, please be kind.

Disclaimer: I own nothing, not the show, not the song, nothing.

Lullaby

Abby felt herself sinking in an endless fog, where there was no ceiling or floor. She tried to scream for help, somehow knowing that eventually there would be a floor, and she was falling fast to meet it. She choked as soon as her mouth opened, as the fog seemed to rush in like liquid cotton. Suddenly the sensation of falling stopped, and the fog cleared around her to reveal scattered corpses among the ruined skeletons of buildings and burned husks of cars, that awful vision of the future stretching as far as she could see.

She wanted to stop and mourn for the dead, but something forced her to move on, knowing as she only knew in dreams, that there was something more that she had to see. As she walked among the rubble, the bodies of the people seemed to crack and turn grayer, starting resemble the stone surrounding them the further she went, until they no longer even looked like children. They were just part of the stone now, forever.

Suddenly she felt the presence of something behind her, and so she spun quickly to confront it. Connor stood there in his yellow pullover and jeans, smiling in joy and relief at finding her. Abby felt a peace settle over her as she looked at him, still somehow not able to utter a word. A wind started blowing, whipping his black hair about his face wildly, as he put his hand to his chest. "Thank god you're alright," he said, as blood started trickling from his mouth, "I was worried for you." Frightened, she tried to reach for him to try and help, and he caught her hand in his, bringing it to his chest.

Clutching her hand tighter, he crushed the hand to his chest, and Abby watched in horror as her hand sunk in, impaling him. She tried to scream "No" but her voice denied her, and it never came out above a whisper. Suddenly her hand touched something beating, steadily thumping against her palm. "Take it. It's yours now," Connor said, still smiling around the blood.

"NO!!" she screamed, struggling against the unknown force that made her grab his heart, as he forced her hand back out of his chest. Crying, struggling, yet unable to move, she looked into Connor's rapidly dimming brown eyes as he held up her hand with his still beating heart between them.

"Why?" Abby cried, needing a reason, anything to explain this insanity.

His warm brown eyes were clouding over in death as he pointed with his free hand at her chest. "If it has to be either you or me, Abby, I will always choose you."

Not understanding, she looked down as he pushed her hand with his heart towards her chest. Realization struck when Abby saw a hole in her own chest, sitting empty and needing a heart to fill it. He was giving her his heart so she could live. So it was a choice between them? Just like that day on the cliff---No. No!

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

* * *

Connor had finally fallen asleep after staying up working on a new up-grade for the ADD that he'd be installing tomorrow. He wasn't asleep long before he was jolted awake as Abby's scream echoed throughout the flat. He was five feet from the bed before his brain, slower to wake up than the rest of him, caught up with his body. _What the hell was that?! It had sounded like Abby_! Running down the hall, he burst into her room, looking all around for an attacker.

Despite the darkness his eyes made out Abby sitting upright in her bed, trembling and clutching her chest through the black tank top she was using as pajamas. Tears were streaming down her face as she looked at him with frightened eyes, her blonde hair in disarray around her face. She looked like some sort of Amazon, cornered with nowhere to run.

Her eyes were unfocused and he wondered if she might still be dreaming. He quietly called her name, and she startled badly at the sound of his voice. She finally focused and looked at him and he saw her lips moving. He barely heard what she was repeating over and over under her breath in a sad broken voice, "Connor, oh god, Connor, Connor." This wasn't good. If just his name was making her cry, he figured he'd be moving out of here very soon. For some reason, the sight of him as he stepped further into the room seemed to drive her over the edge, more tears flowing and small cries spilling from her as she tucked her face in her hands.

Seeing this, Connor stopped uncertainly. He couldn't even begin to think of something to say. What do you say to a girl that screams loud enough to wake the dead when she is alone, then goes into hysterics when you try to get close to her? Crap, how long could this last?! He needed to say something.

"Are you ok?" he asked. Mentally, he smacked himself, _Stupid!! Of course she's not ok!! What kind of a dumb ass question was that?_

Thankfully she played along, shaking her head and making valiant efforts to stop herself from crying. "No, not really," she said, her voice hiccupping as she fought to get under control. Her attempt at humor fell flat.

Connor cast about for something a little less lame to say as he approached her, settling on the bed next to her, still not daring to touch her yet. _Ok, Connor, think before you speak_! Either she had a bad dream, a really bad dream, or the stress of their job was getting to her worse than he thought.

"Look, if you need to talk- " he started to say, laying a hesitant hand on her shoulder. His touch seemed to trigger something in her. With a soft cry of his name she barreled into him, wrapping her arms around his middle and silently cried into his chest.

He felt bad for her, really he did, but the only thought to make it across his brain right then was, _Oh dear god, she's hardly wearing anything_! Her movement had shoved her covers aside, revealing that she only wore a pair of black panties along with her black tank top. The fact that he was only wearing boxers wasn't helping matters at all. Then there was the fact that they were alone in the house but for the animals. That helped even less.

"It was so real, Connor," she said at last, getting her emotions under control. Connor was just relieved that hugging had seemed to help her. But it was doing some rather inappropriate things to his body. He was busy trying to think of some of the more ugly people he'd met over the years to keep himself under control. This was not the time for those kinds of thoughts!

"Your dream?" he asked as much as said. _What is with me? Its like every time I open my mouth a stupid statement rolls out. I need a gag or something_! "Do you want to talk about it?"

After a breif paused, she nodded.

He needed to get more comfortable as he figure this could take awhile. Untangling himself from Abby, he scooted onto the bed, reclining with his back propped up against the wall. Abby didn't seem to mind; as soon as he settled himself she moved over to join him, settling into his arms again and resting against him with her head on his chest, as though it were the most natural thing in the world to do.

Abby laid with her ear over his heart, finally seeming to truly relax since this whole thing began. He tentatively started running his fingers through her silky blonde hair, enjoying the feel of it. "So, are you going to tell me what's going on?" he asked softly. "Or was this all some elaborate scheme to get me here in my underwear," he added with a grin, hoping to lighten the mood a little.

She didn't answer, and after awhile he started to wonder if she had maybe fallen asleep. Well, he supposed it didn't matter. He was pretty sure he could spend the rest of eternity like this, with her. "Connor?" she said at last, reaching up to finger a strand of his hair.

"Hmm?" he mumbled, at the moment too absorbed with the feel of her body against his own and her smell to do more than that. He continued to run his fingers through her hair, unable to stop himself.

"Its...its just---you'll think its stupid," she murmured.

"Abby, you're the bravest, fiercest girl I know. Anything that's bad enough to scare you, its not stupid. So come on, spill. It helps to talk about it, you know."

Sighing, spill it she did. She told him about the ruined city filled with corpses, and how he had appeared and died by making her tear out his own heart and shoving it into her. Connor shuddered at the mental image. That couldn't have been pretty.

"But why the tears? I know it was bad, Abby, but you started crying all over again when I came in. Did anything else happen?" he asked. Some very small part of him felt happy that he'd made it into her dreams at all.

"It wasn't only what he-- I mean you did, it was what you _said _in my dream. And what it meant," she said slowly, trying to piece it together herself as she went. "In the dream, you told me"--

"Stop, don't tell me, Abby," he interrupted her. She looked up at him curiously, surprised. "Anything I said in your dream wasn't real. Ok? So I don't want to know about it. It was just a dream," he said. He kept running his fingers through her hair, and he felt the shivers that had rocked her body finally subside.

After a long pause, she sighed settling into him. "Fine. Thanks, Connor. Just promise me one thing?" She asked, yawning as fatigue hit her again.

"Depends. Promise what?" he asked back.

"If it ever comes down to you or me, choose yourself. I don't think I could take it if I lost you." Her voice was drowsy, already half asleep in his arms. He froze, not quite believing what she had just said. The meaning of his pushing his own heart into hers in her dream suddenly became clear. _She had cried that hard because of that? For me?! _He looked down at her and felt his heart give a painful lurch. He didn't want to lose her either. Connor couldn't even imagine life without Abby in it anymore, it was too painful.

"I can't promise that, Abby. If it ever came down to you or myself, I would choose you every time."

He felt her stiffen at those words and watched her silently shake as she started crying all over again. "That's just how it is, Abby," he said softly, running his hand through her hair once more.

"Idiot." She said just as softly, tightening her grip around him.

"Want me to sing to you?" _Oh god, I did not just say that_. "I--I mean, it might help you get to sleep, you seem like you might have trouble getting back to sleep, after a dream like that, I mean, and"--

"Connor?"

"Yeah?"

She pinched him. Hard.

"OW! What was that for?!"

She pulled back and smiled at him. "For being you. But its a good thing. Do you take requests?"

"Requ--oh, for the song! Uh, sure, pick one."

"Know anything by the Crash Test Dummies?"

She couldn't see it, but she knew he raised his eyebrows. "Actually, yeah, I do. Ah forgive me if it sounds horrible, okay?"

Abby nuzzled against his chest as she got more comfortable to try and sleep. "Don't worry about it, Con. Its just me to hear."

He cleared his throat nervously. "Okay then. Here goes." He hummed a few bars of the song, and began to sing.

"Once, there was this boy who

Got into an accident

and couldn't come to school

And when he finally came back

His hair--had turned from black into bright white

He couldnt quite explain it

It happened when the cars hit so hard

Mmm, mmm, mmm

Mmm, mmm, mmm

Once, there was this girl who

Wouldn't ever change with

the girls in the change room

and when they finally made her

they saw--birthmarks all over her body

she couldnt' quite explain it

they'd always just been there

mmm, mmm, mmm,

mmm, mmm, mmm,

But both girl and boy were glad

Cuz one kid had it harder than them

mmm, mmm, mmm,

mmm, mmm, mmm

Once, there was this kid who's

parents made him come

directly home right after school

and when they went to their church

They shook--and lurched all over the church floor

He couldn't quite explain it

they'd always just gone there.

mmm, mmm, mmm,

mmm, mmm, mmm."

Connor felt her breathing completely even out by then and his humming slowed to a stop. He supposed he should go back to his bed, but her arms wrapped tight around him stopped that idea. He smiled sleepily and closed his eyes. _Why not_? They both slept peacefully the rest of the night.


End file.
